Indefinite Hiatus

(Disclaimer's note: I am aware that there are those who are not too fond of walls of text, so.... TL:DR - I am leaving for an undisclosed amount of time and or quitting this site altogether. )

"indefinite hiatus"

Multiple times have I conferred such a title to my thread. Per the norm for someone such as myself, I am the type who, according to my astrology sign, Taurus, in spite of all odds, stubbornly holds onto his ideals and pride in order to see if i can persevere in a bad situation, swallowing the bad in order to attain the good. And.... as it stands now, I've swallowed too much and now the bad is turning into something far more poisonous.

It is not my intention to air any personal information regarding my feelings, as it involves a particular set of people, whom I believe would be able to easily recognize their effect on me without me lending any clarification as to their identity.

However, that is merely one factor in a list of many, a straw that has broken my back somewhat, a main factor but not THE main factor.

Truly, if I am being as honest with myself as I wish myself to be, when it comes to anything related to Bleach, Father time has caught up to me, as I am in that state where roleplaying in this universe no longer moves me to passion as it once did, where my joy here is ever-waning rather than ever-growing.

There was a time where I was told that perhaps I should quit roleplay, as continuously forcing myself to keep my car moving would eventually result in the absolute destruction of my joy of writing altogether.


Oh, how correct was he! Even so, In spite of that, I tried to tell myself that there was a proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, that as it always has in the past, my perseverance would win out. The folly of my prediction has become all too apparent now. In fact, I have made it worse.


I'm standing at that dangerous line where if I continue to remain here, complete ruination of the joy of writing, a joy I hold oh so very dearly to my heart, will occur and as humans are wont to do, either fall into a depression or desperately search for another career choice where my heart can find enjoyment.

As much as it would pain me to say this, I am not sure I will come back. My activity, I've become a nonexistent blip on the radar, and imposing my faltering will, believing that it will bring back my passion for all of this, is no wise decision either. In truth, there were a few reasons why I wanted to stay.
I wanted to walk my own path and make my own site, one where there was more freedom and a site where following one status quo, one set system was unnecessary.

To be sure, that wish certainly has not changed. However, there is no guarantee it will be the monumental achievement that I envision for it, no matter how eager and ambitious I am. In conclusion(to keep this from being any longer than it should be) I have to take a bow and exit the stage.

Well, I can't say much that hasn't been said by you or by Serenity. I know how much you love writing, and you have a natural talent for it. If you feel this is the best way to keep that spark of your dream going, then fan it with all of your might. But like Serenity said, you should still pop on the Chatango. Even if you're not RPing on here, you're still a dear friend to me and losing all contact with you would be rather hard.

I feel bad I haven't written more, but I don't want to sound like I'm repeating others' words...
Either way, follow your dreams. And send me a signed first edition of your first book.

As the post title implies, I am returning back to the world of roleplay, more confident than I was before I left the first(true) time.  I can't really say it too many words or extend this post beyond a paragraph or two, but I am really excited to get back and hopefully rekindle or build stories with my great friends. Throughout my entire break, even though the time away from here gave me some space to operate my thoughts more properly, it was still immensely difficult to be away from you guys, the creativity and inspiration came back as quickly as a lightning bolt.

I realized also that through various readings of my writings that I was foolishly though very much inadvertently ignoring the praise and good words you all would say about my work.

My writing isn't bad. It's quite good, but I think there is a higher ceiling I can reach than what I have shown thus far.  In a way, I think that was part of why i returned.

I did not want to quit for some foolish reason nor retire from a passion of mine. I want to be the best that I can be, learn from who I admire, learn a few of their tendencies and embrace my ideas with more fervor than had been expressed when I first left.  And so, with all the passion that can be expressed......

I'M BACK BITCHES!!!!!

What.... you expected something more mature?

'Bout fucking time, Aniki! D<